Cross Creek Players

This blog series chronicles the writing and progress of Cross Creek Players’ fall 2011 production: an original play in the fairy tale tradition!

SCENE: 4

In a busy Panera on a sunny, warm, summer’s weeknight. There are people coming and going, eating, laughing and relaxing.

ROB

Hello and welcome to Panera! I’m Rob and I’m here with Matt! Matt? Matt?

Rob looks around to find Matt, eventually following the eyes of all patrons to find Matt down at the end of the building, dancing.

MATT

(singing)

La-de-dah…de-dah…de-dah…

ROB

Matt? Come back here, buddy! I know you’re excited, but we’ve got work to do!

MATT

(returning to the table)

Sorry, Rob. I’m just so excited, I can hardly contain myself!

ROB

Folks, forgive Matt, for he’s just really happy tonight. (ASIDE) I think Matt’s been drinking coffee again… we really need to keep him from doing that.

MATT

Aren’t you excited, too, Rob? You should be! (ASIDE) I think Rob could use some extra coffee… I’ll have to see if I can get him some.

ROB

Oh, I’m really excited, Matt.

MATT

(starts Irish step dancing around the table)

Well, then, dance with me!

ROB

Matt, Matt, Matt… maybe we should tell everyone why we’re dancing.

MATT

Oh. You didn’t tell them yet?

ROB

No, I’ve been busy getting you under control, man.

MATT

(sitting down)

I’m calm. I’m calm.

ROB

Well, then, I’ll jump right to it. Ahem. Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today so that Matt and I can announce-

MATT

(interrupting)

The first draft is done! The first draft is done!

Matt begins dancing on the table, garnering glares and comments from Panera staff.

ROB

That’s right! The first complete draft of “The Good Old Days” is complete and we are in the midst of initial edits and modifications.

MATT

But the first draft is done!

ROB

Yes, Matt. Yes, it is. Maybe we should tell these fine people about the script.

MATT

Good idea! You start. I’m too excited.

ROB

Well, there’s a diaper in there. It gets thrown.

MATT

There’s an homage to a prior Cross Creek Players production, too.

ROB

The first draft is 118 pages long.

MATT

On average, that translates to just under two hours of show time.

ROB

Act 1 has 6 scenes, Act 2 has 5 scenes.

MATT

There are currently 21 different speakers with at least one line in the script.

ROB

Now, keep in mind, this is a first draft. By the time you’re reading this post, at least some of the above will have changed.

MATT

I hope we keep the diaper throwing.

ROB

Me, too, Matt. Me, too…

MATT

In the meantime, we hope you’re as excited as we are.

ROB

I think we do need to celebrate.

Rob reaches into a bag, pulls out and proceeds to put on a coconut bra, grass skirt and blonde wig.

MATT

Let’s dance! Conga line anyone? We should put a conga line into the script, Rob. People like conga lines.

ROB

(leading the Conga line)

Don’t worry folks. There won’t be a Conga line in The Good Old Days. Well, I’m pretty sure there won’t be one. I’m not committing about the presence or absence of a coconut bra, though.

Exit Rob, Matt and all patrons and Panera employees in a massive conga line.

This blog series chronicles the writing and progress of Cross Creek Players’ fall 2011 production: an original play in the fairy tale tradition!

SCENE: 3

In a busy Panera on a rain-free Saturday morning. There are people coming and going, looking up at the sun because it was so odd to see it after a week of nothing but rain.

MATT

Oh, hello there! Matt here. (MATT looks at Rob, who’s busy fighting with an umbrella). Rob has apparently given up all hope of having a sunny day after all the rain we’ve had. He’s even using an umbrella inside these days. Don’t you know it’s bad luck to open an umbrella indoors Rob? Rob? Rob? Hey! Rob!

ROB

(looking up)

Oh, hello Matt. Sorry, I was just thinking back about the good old days…. This umbrella reminded me of so many good things.

MATT

(confused)

What now?

ROB

(holding up the umbrella)

The umbrella. You know. This fancy, newfangled tool used by some of us for the purpose of staying somewhat drier in the rain?

MATT

I know what an umbrella is, Rob.

ROB

Um. Okay. So what’s the question?

MATT

How does an umbrella remind you of the good old days? And why do you have an umbrella in here anyway, Rob?

ROB

Oh, you know… the umbrella has holes in it, and, well, it doesn’t open. So, it reminded me that long, long ago, there were days when it didn’t rain. It also reminded me of how, when I was your age, I walked to the school bus stop in the rain, usually without an umbrella… and I liked it. Never heard me complain about it, unlike you kids today…

MATT

Um. Rob? When you were my age, you’d have been in Grad School. There wouldn’t have been a school bus…

ROB

What? Oh. Sorry. Ahem. Where was I? Oh, clearly, this umbrella is in here so that it won’t rain in the Panera.

MATT

We’re here to write, not stay out of the rain.

ROB

Ah, but if we didn’t have an umbrella, it might be raining in here.

MATT

I… I, suppose that’s a possibility…

ROB

(tosses umbrella aside)

Whatever, dude. You’d think some of these fine patrons at Panera would buy us coffee or cinnamon twists as a thank you for keeping the rain at bay…. but no one has stepped forward to do so…. Anyway… someone said we’re here to write, so I don’t know why you wanted me to fix your umbrella now anyway.

MATT

(whispering)

You weren’t supposed to tell them about this being my umbrella…

ROB

Who?

MATT

(points at the somewhat confused witnesses to this conversation)

ROB

Oh. Hi! I didn’t see you there! How is everyone doing today? Enjoying the weather? You know, it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity that causes the rain.

The room fills with the sound of crickets and uncomfortable shuffling.

MATT

Okay, moving right along… We’re here today writing some more of our script for the upcoming Cross Creek Players fall production! I was just writing about–

ROB

(interrupting)

Matt?

MATT

Yes Rob?

ROB

Why do you wear your sunglasses to write?

MATT

(singing to the tune of “Sunglasses at Night” by Corey Hart)

I wear my sunglasses to write so I can, so I can watch you weave your crazy story lines…

ROB

(closing laptop)

Matt. Dude. Save the singing for the stage.

MATT

(looking glum and apologetic)

I’m sorry.

ROB

It’s okay. I forgive you. And I’m sure all these fine people forgive you, too. As an aside, I’ll admit that I’ve been writing some crazy story lines.

MATT

You have? Ahem. I mean… you have!

ROB

I have! Did you know that the first character we see on stage in this new classic is a witch?

MATT

A witch?

ROB

A witch!

MATT

Wow. That’s exciting.

ROB

And there’s a troll?

MATT

We’ve heard about the troll, Rob.

ROB

I’ve mentioned him, then? Hmmm. I was going to add a groundhog to the cast, but whenever I’d write him in, he’d end up in the witch’s cauldron. I asked myself… I said, “Self… why do you keep putting that groundhog into the cauldron?” And I waited for a while for a response, but eventually myself responded with “Clearly, it is because the groundhog running amok in the garden is not acquiescing to our request that he eat the neighbor’s poison ivy patch instead of our carrots, broccoli, cauliflower and peas.”

MATT

Now Rob, I know you’re upset about your vegetables, but we’re not going to condone violence in this play.

ROB

No, no, you’re right. It’s not like he ate all the orange watermelon, right?

MATT

Exactly.

ROB

If he does, though…

MATT

I wonder if groundhogs barbecue well.

ROB

Matt… all of my characters are vegetarians. They wouldn’t eat barbecued groundhog if it were the last–

MATT

(interrupting)

I didn’t mean the groundhog would be barbecued. I meant that we could make him able to–

ROB

No, no… your idea has merit. But only if the beast gets my watermelon plants.

MATT

Let’s hope that doesn’t happen.

ROB

Indeed. I mean, if I don’t bring orange watermelon to the next cast party, I don’t know what I’d bring. Anyway… where was I?

MATT

You were telling us about some of the scenes you’ve been writing in the play.

ROB

Oh. Yeah. Did I mention the witch? I did… and the court jester? His first scene was interesting to me… I was writing and writing and writing and suddenly this character decided to be speaking in rhymes.

MATT

Rhymes?

ROB

Yeah. He got a bit upset, though, when he needed to come up with a rhyme for “orange”. That didn’t go well.

MATT

(rolling his eyes)

I can imagine…. Say, Rob, you’re a lot older than I am, right?

ROB

Well, I don’t know if I’d say “a lot”. I mean, it’s only a few years difference, right? When I was your age, we didn’t have these fancy things like computers and coffee and bread shops…

MATT

Yes you did, Rob.

ROB

Well, maybe we did. But when I was your age, we didn’t have iPads or iPhones, we didn’t have to worry whether we had 3G or 4G… we were perfectly happy with there being exactly one G right there in the middle of the alphabet.

MATT

(ASIDE, as Rob continues to rant)

Um, I didn’t mean to get him started, folks…

ROB

Anyway, Matt, you young whippersnapper… what did you want to know?

MATT

Well, I didn’t actually have a question, I was just confirming that you’re old…er than I am.

ROB

I am, Matt, thank you very much for reminding me… You know, yesterday was my daughter’s birthday and today is my father’s birthday.

MATT

Well, happy birthday to them both! And, as coincidence would have it, our play has a birthday party!

ROB

Well, isn’t that nice! A nice, happy, exciting birthday party. Will there be hats?

MATT

There will be hats.

ROB

And cake? I like cake.

MATT

I don’t know if there will be cake. But there’s hot cocoa.

ROB

You know, when I was younger… back in the good old days… I liked having cake at parties. I never got to try cocoa at a birthday party. I wonder if it would hold a candle to cake.

MATT

I’m sure we could figure out how to get a candle to work in a cup of hot cocoa, Rob.

ROB

(reminiscing)

Thanks Matt. You know, when I was a kid, I wanted to grow up and be a major league baseball playing astronaut, traveling to the stars to bring baseball to the little green aliens on other planets.

MATT

(confused)

What does that have to do with anything? You’re not saying we have aliens in the play now, are you?

ROB

No, no, that would be wrong. I mean, trolls, witches, humans… and aliens? Come on, Matt — that’s just silly.

MATT

I’m sorry.

ROB

No worries, man. See, back in my time, we had this thing called forgiveness.

MATT

In your time?

ROB

Right. In the good old days.

MATT

The good old days….

ROB

Yeah.

MATT

So, I think this update has kind of gone off track.

ROB

Really?

MATT

Yes, kind of. Weren’t we going to tell everyone the name of the play today instead of just talking about ancient history?

ROB

Now, my childhood may be long ago, but I’d hardly call it “ancient history”. Nevertheless, we have told them the title of the play.

MATT

We have?

ROB

We have.

MATT

Maybe we should, you know, do it again? To make it official?

ROB

Okay. Here, hold my umbrella…

MATT

(taking umbrella)

Um. Why?

Rob pushes the plates and computers off the table and watches with satisfaction as everything spills and crashes to the ground. The coffee splashes harmlessly against the umbrella.

ROB

(climbing onto the table)

Always looking out for you, Matt.

MATT

(climbing onto the table)

Thanks, Rob… I think…

ROB

Anytime. Now, shall we announce the name of the play officially? (Rob begins making a fake drum roll sound effect with Matt’s sunglasses, the umbrella and a spoon)

MATT

(in his best announcer voice)

Sure. Cross Creek Players is pleased to announce that the title of our upcoming fall production, a play in the tradition of fairy tales is:

ROB and MATT

“The Good Old Days”!

ROB

Looks like the staff here at Panera isn’t all too happy with the mess we’ve made or the fact that we’re standing on their tables, so we should probably go.

MATT

Yes, that’s all for this time, folks, we’ll see you all soon!

ROB

You know, when I was your age, standing on tables in a restaurant was seen as a sign of happiness and contentment.

MATT

That’s not true, Rob.

ROB

Okay, you’re right. I was making that up. Here, you’d better put these sunglasses back on so that the staff doesn’t recognize you.

MATT

Thanks.

ROB

No problem. Now that they won’t recognize me… will you go refill my coffee? Thanks.

MATT

You know, years ago they used to come around and refill coffee cups for you…

ROB

I know. It’s a shame they don’t do that here. I miss the good old days…

Rob and Matt exit hastily, chased by Panera staff.

This blog series chronicles the writing and progress of Cross Creek Players’ fall 2011 production: an original play in the fairy tale tradition!

SCENE: 2

(In a busy Panera at lunch time. There are patrons coming and going and plates are clattering as the scene opens on Matt and Rob, at a small table, writing.)

ROB
(Looking up)
Oh, hi everyone! I’m Rob.

MATT
And I’m Matt!

ROB AND MATT
And we’re at Panera, working on our script!

MATT
(Pulling out a whiteboard calendar and pointing at the circled date of the last blog post)
Wow, it’s been a while since we last chatted with you all about our progress.

ROB
(Erasing the markings on the calendar)
What’s a date anyway? I mean, don’t take the long silence the wrong way — we’ve learned quite a bit about the play since we last spoke to you.

MATT
So, Rob, where should start?

ROB
Well, we could start by reading the Scene 1 Heading to everyone. It’s only like a thirteen-page long narrative that’s at least as exciting as the script itself is.

MATT
(Shaking his head)
No, Rob, as excited as you might be that there are gravestones and party hats, I think this blog script needs to be more exciting.

ROB
Well, should we mention the hot cocoa?

MATT
(Thoughtfully)
Hmmm. I’m not sure.  How about the flaming archery arrows?

ROB
Or maybe the troll?

MATT
(Shaking his head, frustrated)
No, no, no. I don’t think anyone wants to hear about any of that stuff.

ROB
Well, what do people want to hear about?

MATT
I don’t know. Maybe we should ask. (MATT GETS UP AND TAPS SHOULDER OF THE GUY AT THE NEXT TABLE, WHO LOOKS UP FROM HIS BOWL OF SOUP) Excuse me sir, are you aware of the caliber of disaster indicated by the staleness of the coffee today?

PATRON 1
Huh?

ROB
(Pushing Matt out of the way)
What my fine friend here is asking, sir, is what do you want to know about the upcoming Cross Creek Players production being written in the style of a comedy fairytale?

PATRON 1
Would I have seen this on Comedy Central or The Home Shopping Network or something?

MATT
(Slightly confused)
Um.  No.  We’re just writing it now.  For Cross Creek Players.  Um…

ROB
(Dragging Matt away from his confused situation)
Moving right along, let’s ask someone else. (TAPS ANOTHER PATRON ON THE SHOULDER) Pardon me, ma’am.  Would you like to know anything about the upcoming Cross Creek Players production being written in the style of a comedy fairytale?

PATRON 2
(Removing her iPod headphones, putting down her iPad and telling the person on her iPhone to hang on before biting into an apple) Oh! Cross Creek Players? I read a blog post about that quite some time ago. It’s getting on time that they put out an update, don’t you think?

MATT
(Self-righteously)
See?

PATRON 2
What I was wondering is if you’ve decided whether it’s a musical or not.

MATT
It’s not a musical.  I think we said that in the other–

PATRON 2
(Interrupting)
But if there’s music…

ROB
(Liberally using air quotes as he speaks)
We didn’t say there was music. We said there might be characters who spontaneously break out into songs. You know, like “Happy Birthday” or something by Barry Manilow. You know, because that’s what real people do.

MATT
Right.  And we’re just keepin’ it real.

PATRON 2
I see. So it’s a musical.

ROB AND MATT
No!

MATT
(Goes to the next patron)
Ma’am, if you were interested in the progress being made on the upcoming Cross Creek Players production being written in the style of a comedy fairytale, what would you want to know?

PATRON 3
Well, let me think. If it’s a fairytale are there any strange creatures or characters?

ROB
Very good question! There are, in fact, many strange characters in this new play.

MATT
For example, there are characters with wings, characters with furry legs and backs, characters with crazy hair… you know, to save on costumes.

ROB
And, of course, the troll. So, if you’re thinking about auditioning for this play, you may want to consider delaying that haircut until Thanksgiving.

MATT
Good advice, Rob!

ROB
Just keepin’ it real, Matt.

PATRON 3
So there are furry, winged creatures?

ROB
And don’t forget the troll!

PATRON 3
Right.  And the troll. And they sing?  So it’s a musical?

ROB
No. It’s not a–

PATRON 3
(Interrupting)
So what’s the setting?

MATT
Well, it starts in the present day at a birthday party.

ROB
Aren’t all birthday parties “present days”?

MATT
(Hesitating slightly)
Well…  I suppose so. But you didn’t give me a present for my last birthday, Rob.

ROB
As I recall, I didn’t get an invitation to your party, Matt.

MATT
(Shifting uncomfortably)
Must have been a minor oversight.  A paperwork error. A, um…

ROB
(Interrupting)
Right.  I’m sure that’s all it was. (TURNING AWAY FROM MATT AND BACK TO PATRON 3) Anyway, it starts at the birthday party, moves to an enchanted forest on the outskirts of a rustic village, and spends some time in an extravagant ballroom…

MATT
Should we tell them about the prison cell where the–

ROB
(Interrupting)
No, Matt!  That would be giving away too much information!

MATT
Do we want to mention anything about the characters?

ROB
Well, the people at the party are teenagers.  At least one of them has a mother. Oh and they will appear throughout the story.

MATT
And there’s a king and his minion. And a bunch of… shorter characters… from different regions of the fairytale realm.

ROB
Shorter characters, eh?

MATT
Yeah.  And some of them have brooms!

ROB
Neat!

MATT
(Hungrily investigating another patron’s food)
Excuse me sir, do you have any questions about the upcoming Cross Creek Players production being written in the style of a comedy fairytale?

PATRON 4
What’s it called?

MATT
(Looking panicked)
Rob, would you like to field this one?

ROB
(Looks at his wrist as if looking at a watch)
Would you look at the time? Sorry, sir we’ll have to answer that in another post.

MATT
Rob, what’s next on the agenda for today?

ROB
Well, I’m going to introduce some characters to their quest.

MATT
Their quest?

ROB
Yes.  Their quest. (LOOKS OVER TO THE COFFEE AS IT IS BEING REFRESHED) But look — they’ve just put out fresh coffee and pastries. The quest will have to wait at least until my own quest for refreshments is complete.

Rob exits with his travel mug.

MATT
Hey!  All people on a quest need a sidekick!  Wait up!

Matt exits.

This blog series chronicles the writing and progress of Cross Creek Players’ fall 2011 production: an original play in the fairy tale tradition!

SCENE: 1

(In a Panera. There are patrons coming and going as the scene opens on Matt and Rob, at a small table, WRITING)

MATT

(Looking up)

Oh, hi Gang; this is Matt, a.k.a. Professor Hill from The Music Man.

ROB

(Feigning frustration)

Don’t forget me!

MATT

I didn’t forget you, Rob! How could anyone forget Mayor Shinn from The Music Man?

ROB

Oh, okay then! It’s just that I’m so excited! If you’ve been watching the phraseology on the Cross Creek Players’ website and Facebook fan page, you’ll see that our fall 2011 production will be an original play in the fairy tale tradition!

MATT

That’s right, and it’s currently being written by Rob and me!

(ASIDE)

Well, mostly by Rob, as I’m trying to trick him into thinking I can’t tYpe very good wwell.

ROB

(showing off a reusable, recycled travel mug)

Don’t forget the help of some very fresh, strong coffee!

(ASIDE)

Don’t tell Matt… but I’ve been noticing that he doesn’t type very well…

MATT

Yes Rob, you’re right. There’s plenty of coffee involved.

ROB

(turning more directly toward the audience)

Well, I can imagine that everyone probably has some questions, so let’s see if we can address some of them. Matt, why don’t you explain why our fall production is an original play?

MATT

Of course, Rob. Well some of you may know that Cross Creek Players’ very first production back in 2008 was an original play written by Rob titled The Legend of Sweetbriar Cemetery. If you missed it, you can visit the 2008 Events page of the Cross Creek Players website to see pictures from that show. It was an interactive, Halloween-themed story that featured some great special effects.

ROB

(laughing while staring off into the distance, remembering)

My personal favorite effect was the spiders we dropped onto the audience!

MATT

Well, one of Rob’s hobbies is writing fiction, so it just seemed right to ask Rob to write that script for us. In fact, Rob’s love of writing has rubbed off on me in the past few years. When we decided to put on The Music Man in the fall of 2010, we were amazed and thrilled by the great turnout we had for auditions, especially the turnout of teenagers. So as we started thinking about what would be a good show to perform this year, we wanted to choose a show that would give more opportunity for lines and stage time for a wider variety of actors and actresses.

ROB

We scoured the internet and the local libraries and video stores searching for all kinds of shows… but we just couldn’t find the right one that allowed for such a large cast and gave an opportunity for more people to have an opportunity to showcase their talent!

MATT

So, that’s why Rob and I decided to write our own play with plenty of… interesting… characters and lines!

ROB

We’re hoping that this summer, when auditions are held, you’ll agree that the characters and lines are interesting.

MATT

Rob, tell us more about the play.

ROB

Sure, Matt. It’s going to be a comedy in the tradition of fairy tales. That means we have some flexibility to sprinkle in a little magic. It means we can have some interesting characters that you wouldn’t necessarily see at the mall or on the bus. There will likely be some dance scenes. Ooh and maybe we can add a family of talking bears!

MATT

Do you think people might be disappointed that this won’t be a musical?

ROB

Maybe. But… just because this isn’t a musical doesn’t mean characters won’t spontaneously break into songs about coffee or compost. I’ve already got a big dance number choreographed…

(PAUSES, FIDGETING UNCOMFORTABLY, CLEARING THROAT)

Ahem… I mean, I think I have an idea of where we can put in a dance scene.

MATT

Yes, the direction we’re taking this really opens up some possibilities. So Rob, should we tell them what the play is about?

ROB

You mean you know what it’s about, Matt? Please tell me! Actually, Matt and I have spent the past three Saturday mornings drinking coffee… I mean, plotting the story. After this past Saturday I think we finally agreed on a direction, and we each are going to spend the next week or two writing a couple of the scenes in Act I. I’m pretty excited about how this is taking shape. As things progress, we’ll be able to give you some more tidbits about the play and start introducing you to some of the characters we’re meeting.

MATT

So Rob, anything else you want to share in this week’s update?

ROB

I hope everyone will stick around and follow the writing of this play over the next few months, and then come out to audition for it this summer! And in the meantime, I hope everyone is getting ready for our spring Cabaret!

MATT

We’re very excited about the Cabaret too! And maybe some of those songs about compost will make an appearance, too!

ROB

(Waxing poetic)

There just aren’t enough songs about compost anymore…

(getting up from the table)

Well, I need another coffee so I think that’s all for this week! See you next time!

(Exit all Stage Right)