This blog series chronicles the writing and progress of Cross Creek Players’ fall 2011 production: an original play in the fairy tale tradition!
SCENE: 2
(In a busy Panera at lunch time. There are patrons coming and going and plates are clattering as the scene opens on Matt and Rob, at a small table, writing.)
ROB
(Looking up)
Oh, hi everyone! I’m Rob.
MATT
And I’m Matt!
ROB AND MATT
And we’re at Panera, working on our script!
MATT
(Pulling out a whiteboard calendar and pointing at the circled date of the last blog post)
Wow, it’s been a while since we last chatted with you all about our progress.
ROB
(Erasing the markings on the calendar)
What’s a date anyway? I mean, don’t take the long silence the wrong way — we’ve learned quite a bit about the play since we last spoke to you.
MATT
So, Rob, where should start?
ROB
Well, we could start by reading the Scene 1 Heading to everyone. It’s only like a thirteen-page long narrative that’s at least as exciting as the script itself is.
MATT
(Shaking his head)
No, Rob, as excited as you might be that there are gravestones and party hats, I think this blog script needs to be more exciting.
ROB
Well, should we mention the hot cocoa?
MATT
(Thoughtfully)
Hmmm. I’m not sure. How about the flaming archery arrows?
ROB
Or maybe the troll?
MATT
(Shaking his head, frustrated)
No, no, no. I don’t think anyone wants to hear about any of that stuff.
ROB
Well, what do people want to hear about?
MATT
I don’t know. Maybe we should ask. (MATT GETS UP AND TAPS SHOULDER OF THE GUY AT THE NEXT TABLE, WHO LOOKS UP FROM HIS BOWL OF SOUP) Excuse me sir, are you aware of the caliber of disaster indicated by the staleness of the coffee today?
PATRON 1
Huh?
ROB
(Pushing Matt out of the way)
What my fine friend here is asking, sir, is what do you want to know about the upcoming Cross Creek Players production being written in the style of a comedy fairytale?
PATRON 1
Would I have seen this on Comedy Central or The Home Shopping Network or something?
MATT
(Slightly confused)
Um. No. We’re just writing it now. For Cross Creek Players. Um…
ROB
(Dragging Matt away from his confused situation)
Moving right along, let’s ask someone else. (TAPS ANOTHER PATRON ON THE SHOULDER) Pardon me, ma’am. Would you like to know anything about the upcoming Cross Creek Players production being written in the style of a comedy fairytale?
PATRON 2
(Removing her iPod headphones, putting down her iPad and telling the person on her iPhone to hang on before biting into an apple) Oh! Cross Creek Players? I read a blog post about that quite some time ago. It’s getting on time that they put out an update, don’t you think?
MATT
(Self-righteously)
See?
PATRON 2
What I was wondering is if you’ve decided whether it’s a musical or not.
MATT
It’s not a musical. I think we said that in the other–
PATRON 2
(Interrupting)
But if there’s music…
ROB
(Liberally using air quotes as he speaks)
We didn’t say there was music. We said there might be characters who spontaneously break out into songs. You know, like “Happy Birthday” or something by Barry Manilow. You know, because that’s what real people do.
MATT
Right. And we’re just keepin’ it real.
PATRON 2
I see. So it’s a musical.
ROB AND MATT
No!
MATT
(Goes to the next patron)
Ma’am, if you were interested in the progress being made on the upcoming Cross Creek Players production being written in the style of a comedy fairytale, what would you want to know?
PATRON 3
Well, let me think. If it’s a fairytale are there any strange creatures or characters?
ROB
Very good question! There are, in fact, many strange characters in this new play.
MATT
For example, there are characters with wings, characters with furry legs and backs, characters with crazy hair… you know, to save on costumes.
ROB
And, of course, the troll. So, if you’re thinking about auditioning for this play, you may want to consider delaying that haircut until Thanksgiving.
MATT
Good advice, Rob!
ROB
Just keepin’ it real, Matt.
PATRON 3
So there are furry, winged creatures?
ROB
And don’t forget the troll!
PATRON 3
Right. And the troll. And they sing? So it’s a musical?
ROB
No. It’s not a–
PATRON 3
(Interrupting)
So what’s the setting?
MATT
Well, it starts in the present day at a birthday party.
ROB
Aren’t all birthday parties “present days”?
MATT
(Hesitating slightly)
Well… I suppose so. But you didn’t give me a present for my last birthday, Rob.
ROB
As I recall, I didn’t get an invitation to your party, Matt.
MATT
(Shifting uncomfortably)
Must have been a minor oversight. A paperwork error. A, um…
ROB
(Interrupting)
Right. I’m sure that’s all it was. (TURNING AWAY FROM MATT AND BACK TO PATRON 3) Anyway, it starts at the birthday party, moves to an enchanted forest on the outskirts of a rustic village, and spends some time in an extravagant ballroom…
MATT
Should we tell them about the prison cell where the–
ROB
(Interrupting)
No, Matt! That would be giving away too much information!
MATT
Do we want to mention anything about the characters?
ROB
Well, the people at the party are teenagers. At least one of them has a mother. Oh and they will appear throughout the story.
MATT
And there’s a king and his minion. And a bunch of… shorter characters… from different regions of the fairytale realm.
ROB
Shorter characters, eh?
MATT
Yeah. And some of them have brooms!
ROB
Neat!
MATT
(Hungrily investigating another patron’s food)
Excuse me sir, do you have any questions about the upcoming Cross Creek Players production being written in the style of a comedy fairytale?
PATRON 4
What’s it called?
MATT
(Looking panicked)
Rob, would you like to field this one?
ROB
(Looks at his wrist as if looking at a watch)
Would you look at the time? Sorry, sir we’ll have to answer that in another post.
MATT
Rob, what’s next on the agenda for today?
ROB
Well, I’m going to introduce some characters to their quest.
MATT
Their quest?
ROB
Yes. Their quest. (LOOKS OVER TO THE COFFEE AS IT IS BEING REFRESHED) But look — they’ve just put out fresh coffee and pastries. The quest will have to wait at least until my own quest for refreshments is complete.
Rob exits with his travel mug.
MATT
Hey! All people on a quest need a sidekick! Wait up!
Matt exits.
